I hate skiing.
And whilst some of these reasons are deeply personal, there are some aspects of my hatred that I find hard to believe aren’t shared by others. For example:
1) It’s fucking cold. Who likes to be cold? No one sensible that’s who! That’s why we invented fire, central heating, duvets, tea and you know clothes and that. Don’t spit in the face of science and deliberately subject yourself to cold unnecessarily. That’s what I say.
2) There’s loads of stupid equipment. Those toe-crunchingly uncomfortable boots, ridiculous goggles, day-glo bomber jackets and shellsuit bottoms, those funny stick things plus the unwieldy skis themselves. As for snowboards even worse. They’re like the shackles of the notorious S21 prison. I don’t like sports with a lot of equipment. Makes everything a huge hassle, and makes everything expensive as hell. If a sport requires more than a ball and an open area to play then simply put, it’s a crap sport.
3) Drag lifts. Who in their right mind wants to be dragged up a mountain by a metal pole wedged between their legs??? Apparently this medieval form of torture though is popular with middle class English, Frence and Swiss folk who must get some kind of thrill from the possibility of being castrated at any moment, or of being unceremoniously tossed off a mountain when your skis hit an insidious patch of ice. The humiliation of being dragged 100 metres over snow-packed rocks on your arse, feet in the air, grimly hanging on to said metal pole for fear of your life in front of your fellow wintersportsmen is arguably worse than either.
Video: A week of this? No thanks!
Video: Or what about this painful episode gleefully captured by a fellow skier?
4). It’s dangerous. Any group of more than six people going skiing / snowboarding for a minimum of one week all but guarantees a hospital incident. From nearly having your brains bashed out by a rogue drag lift pole to smashing your fibulas to pieces on a tree trunk, when you decided to charge off the top of something very steep and slippery, with just some fibreglass planks to guide you, it’s no surprise that people get hurt. For beginners in particular a week’s skiing holiday is basically a sadistic physical and mental assault course, where one wrong move puts you in plastercast.
If you’re dumb enough to ignore all those reasons then mosey on over to Barcelona Life where they have a guide to ski resorts in the nearby Pyrenees, as well as weekend skiing trips to Andorra from Barcelona.
The nearest resort to BCN is El Moli and you can check out their website here.
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